Hebrews 10:31 NLT states, “It is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of The Living God.” When I “stumble” upon a verse, repeatedly, within a matter of hours or days, God has my attention. This verse has been on replay lately.
For many years of my life, I have taken the controls from His hands. I have attempted to make my life look like what I wanted. I grew up amid dysfunction and abuse, and the option of trusting someone else with my life and well-being, only became a cognizant idea in February 2013 when I walked into Celebrate Recovery for the first time and learned the 12 Steps and 8 Principles.
The road from recovery day 1 has been painful as God teaches me to turn over, moment by moment, day by day, thing by thing, my life. I casually call it living in Recovery, but the truth is that I am living with Him as my LORD, and it actually hurts.
Up until January 10, 2017, I treated God as my servant, and as I look back on my treatment of the God of the Universe, I shudder at my behavior, and I am humbled that He left me alive.
I want God. I want to cling to Him, run with Him, whatever it is He calls me to do, I want Him. And, I am praying for a community of women to gather with me, that have hearts set upon pursuing Him. I stumble, I fall, I take headers into the ditch of sin, and I personally have zero reason to be writing such a blog, making such a request, except for Him. I am a chief sinner, saved by Grace, and that is my only qualification for starting this.
I have fallen into His hands, and He has undone me, terribly, wonderfully, amazingly, eternally.
For Him, shocking failures and all, I write.