April 9, 2018

Dear Daughters,

One of my goals in life is to point you to the real God: the God of the Bible.

I have misunderstood Him for most of my life.  Somehow, through the upbringing of my childhood, and my own attempts to control the outcome of my life, I created an idol and named it GOD.

In a counseling session years ago, the counselor suggested that perhaps I had created a wrong version of the real God, and I have been on a quest to find Him ever since.

In a sermon from Timothy Keller, (can’t remember which one) he says that a quest and a journey are different: you can return from a journey, but a quest results in being forever changed, and never being able to go back to whatever there was before.  My walk has been a quest.

Here is what I have learned: once upon a time, I believed that if I could figure out a secret formula of behavior to please God, I would lead a life in which I was comfortable.  My end goal was not God, but comfort: comfort was my god. I was blind to this reality, and more than that, I was blind to the reality of who God really is.

Through various life events, I ended up with hours upon hours on my hands each day, and miraculously, God led me to focus on Him during those hours.  It started with me listening to preachers and gradually morphed into listening to the audio bible https://www.biblegateway.com.

The Word of God has changed me, I pray, for forever.  The Truth of Who God is, Who Jesus is, and my purpose has shaken me out of slumber.

“Message to Sardis

“To the angel of the church in Sardis write:

He who has the seven Spirits of God and the seven stars, says this: ‘I know your deeds, that you have a name that you are alive, [a]but you are dead. Wake up, and strengthen the things that remain, which were about to die; for I have not found your deeds completed in the sight of My God. So remember [b]what you have received and heard; and keep it, and repent. Therefore if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come to you” (Revelation 3 New American Standard Bible, NASB).

I was dead, and I didn’t know it.  I thought I was alive, I thought I was in control…I was so wrong.

Please, seek God, the True God; read His Word.  Nothing else matters.  And no, everything will not fall apart.  Everything will fall under Him, and you will have more than you ever dreamed, regardless of the circumstances.


I come before You and ask you to save my daughter from the lies of this world.  Whatever she has learned about You that is a lie, please teach her the truth.  Change her heart, Father, do whatever must be done to grab her and save her from the lies.  Please awaken her to the REAL GOD, may she come to know You as You truly are, I ask in the name of Jesus.


The Marble Jar

So, I dropped my jar of marbles.  Everything that I had staked my self on, who I was, what I stood for, all gone in the sweaty grasp of my hands on that jar.  My hands were angry and mainly deceived.